“I see you” The importance of being validated by your partner

Validation is a simple concept to understand, but in intimate relationships it can become complex.

What does validation mean?

In the context of your relationship it’s the recognition and acceptance of your partners internal experience as being valid; it’s their truth as they are experiencing it. It does not mean that you agree or support their feelings; it simply means I see you, I hear you; I accept your feelings as yours and I respect them.

Why is validation in my relationship important?

Mixed race couple talking on couch

Validation = Acceptance

As people and especially with those closest to us, we have a need to feel that we belong; that our partner accepts us and value us. Life can be confusing and stressful even overwhelming at times. What with the responsibilities of children, finances, careers, and sometimes being caretakers of our elderly parent or grandparent; feedback from your partner that what you are experiencing is okay and makes sense to you, brings closeness and builds your relationship.

When you validate your partner you show them that they are important to you. You care about their thoughts, feelings and experiences in life and in your relationship; that your there for them. Your job is not to fix things for them; just to validate.

When you practice validation in your relationship; you’re nurturing acceptance and trust. This, in turn will facilitate vulnerability resulting in more intimacy and deepening your connection with one another.